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(You can measure your boob size by comparing them to fruit Katy Perry allegedly has C-cups, or, grapefruits.) This list is an exercise in horny anthropology, an attempt to establish the 2000s Horny Culture canon - the good, the (mostly) bad, and the absurd. The following list is a taxonomy of the aughts’ horniest pop-culture moments, forgotten formative memories, the Cosmo tips that are forever burned into our brains. The bygone era, which for the purpose of this list will be referred to as Horny Culture, was tainted by exploitation, and it’s worth exploring how we got there and how we got out. Everyone can have their own personalized, algorithmically curated e-stash. As porn and porn-adjacent content became available at the tap of a touchscreen (Pornhub launched in 2007, Instagram in 2010), sex bled into pop culture with less frequency. It was a slow death, brought forth in part by the internet’s tightening grip on our personal lives and the media’s recognition of women as … people. The decline of early-aughts horny culture can be attributed to a few main developments. Both shows employ intimacy coordinators, whom directors routinely bring in to protect actors “ doing hyper-exposed work.” Euphoria takes the opposite approach with flashy soft-core cinema, Skinemax with an HBO budget.
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Shows like Normal People are lauded for their “realistic” sex scenes - slow to start, sometimes nervous, and free from cinematic orgasms. Sex still sells, of course, but it’s packaged in self-awareness, layered with years of internet discourse about consent and kink and modern intimacy. Think: Axe commercials where women want to have sex with you at the grocery store, buddy comedies about taking a road trip to lose your virginity, Maxim covers teasing a list of the best outdoor gear with the tagline “ Spank Mother Nature!” Women sported low-rise pants and high-rise thongs, and men wore trucker hats that suggested careers in adult film. The sheer horniness of the aughts was unique from other eras in its total lack of subtlety, distinctly raunchy in a way that has fallen out of vogue. Meanwhile, he's an Alpha, with killer instincts to match his killer body, so while the corpses of his fellow musclebound slave adversaries collect at his feet, he's happy and satisfied.Photo-Illustration: by Vulture Photos by Warner Bros, Kevin Kane/WireImage, K Wright/New Line/Kobal/Shutterstock, Moviestore/Shutterstock and Summit Entertainmentĭuring the 2000s, pop culture’s depictions of sex tended toward goofy, as if Hollywood had been run by teenage boys with cartoon eyes popping out of their skulls and mile-long tongues hanging out of their mouths. THIS magnificent young Musclebear has already been a hit in the Arena. and having them snuffed at each others' hands in clandestine Gladiatorial Tournaments is even bigger business. Expendable top-quality Bodybuilders is big business. Sponsors whore out their Bodybuilders, feature them in custom porn-flicks, and most exciting of all, they have their Musclehunks fight Deathmatches in the Underground Fighting Circuit, for a high-roller audience of Billionaire gamblers. Basically, at the point where it becomes obvious that the bodybuilder is living wayyy beyond his means and is deeply indebted to his "sponsor", he becomes the property of his presumed-benefactor. Classic example of a Muscle Alpha who was desperate to afford the 'roids, the supplements, the gym membership, the food, the lifestyle, the shot at being a real Bodybuilder, that he became involved with a "sponsor".